I want to die. Please help me.?

Oh my gosh how did you even know what suicide is when you were in the first grade? In grade 1 I was only 6 years old and had no clue about these things! Sorry to say his but it's not a bad thing.. You need to speak to a professional. I know maybe you won't want to hear that but trust me I went through almost the same thig as you when I was a teenager. I saw my psychologist on a regular basis and I actually thought she was the only one who understood me. Please don't kill yourself. If your mom is in any way harming you then you should really do something about it. Please get some help! It doesn't even have to be a psychologist just someone you can trust like a best friend or relative. It may seem hard to realize at times but I know and you know too that there is someone who cares.